The Beauty in Brokenness
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.”
I stood there in the wee hours looking down at the glass that had just slipped from my grasp, and fell to the floor smashing into smithereens, and as the memories washed over me, somehow, in the scattered fragments I saw a picture of my own broken life …. As I carefully collected the shattered bits, tears stung my eyes and the pain of brokenness surfaced once again …. It’s a deep hurt. The kind not easily healed. My heart had been crushed; as if it had been stomped on, broken and discarded. Unable to progress in my life, I became a hostage to my own sadness. I felt weak and desperate for hope. These were the thoughts washing over me as I stood in the darkness remembering this, the anniversary of my husband’s death ….
No one enjoys the pain of brokenness. Normally it calls for a letting go of something near and dear to us. At the time, it doesn’t make any sense, yet since, I have learned that brokenness leads to an unexpected good and the most beautiful outcome ….
I have had many such experiences in my life where the crushing weight of brokenness seemed so heavy that I could barely breathe; and the sorrow in my heart seemed unbearable, but it has been at those precise moments that through my yielding and surrender, God was able to move for me, and I have seen Him faithful each time ….
I very recently thought I was going to have to lose another piece of my heart in the form of my beloved little dog “Duke” due to unforeseen circumstances. Everything dear to me was being threatened. Oh, how I cried and grieved over that. But in that process, while my heart was again breaking, I surrendered him, my most prized possession, unto my Lord making a vow that no matter what, yet would I follow and serve Him. And through my obedience, again my God showed Himself strong and mighty, as just as recently as last week a change took place in that situation ….
It’s for this reason that God breaks us. Not to cause us undue pain. Not because He doesn’t love us. Instead, God breaks us to bless us.
He chips away anything that keeps us from finding our true life in Him.
God targets an area of our life that we’re unwilling to submit to Him. Perhaps it’s an unhealthy relationship we won’t release. It could be laziness that’s stunting our spiritual growth; or even a bad habit that’s standing in the way of experiencing the fullness of God. Whatever the cause, our tendency is to hold tightly to these things because we believe it’s what we want, even what we need. We’re convinced they please us by providing the joy, pleasure and fulfillment we seek. But God knows the truth. Only He can truly satisfy our deepest longings. All else is counterfeit to His provision, andin vain ….
Therefore, God selects the tools it takes to break our self-sufficiency and cause us turn to Him. When we give up our independence, and are willing to surrender our will to His, we gain a new perspective of God’s plan and purpose for our lives ….
A great picture of this process is found in our key verse….”except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.” (John 12:24).
Unless the kernel is buried and dies, it will produce nothing. It will remain a lone, solitary stalk of corn. Imagine passing a field that only hosted one blade of corn. You might ask, “Where’s the rest of this farmer’s harvest?” However, if the kernel dies, it will produce a great harvest.
Consider the life of Jesus. On earth, He was like a single stalk of corn. Yet, through His death, burial and resurrection, His life continually produces a harvest of souls.
In a similar way, as long as I live a selfish life fixed on my own wants and desires, I will produce little. On the other hand, if I die to myself and live according to God’s plan, I will yield a productive life that’s beneficial to God and others. It does sound difficult, I know, but the unexpected good of brokenness is that it revives the life of Christ in me. I become less and He becomes more. That’s a good thing!
The more we become like Him, the more we become like the true selves God intended. The more love and patience I have in my heart, the more joyful and content I am with others.
Think of it this way. For the wheat to reproduce itself, it had to die. For Christ to reproduce Himself in others, He had to die. If I desire Christ’s life to be reproduced in me, I, too, must die to the lure of the world and my own selfishness. Then, I will experience the fullness of God I desire and reproduce disciples of the same kind. Jesus put it this way:
“For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.” (Matthew 16:25).
Sometimes God has to break me to bless me. As challenging as that can be, I’m thankful and so very grateful … because quite honestly, I want the life God wants to give me instead of settling for the counterfeit of only a mediocre life that I might obtain on my own. Jesus said in (John 12:25), “He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.”
In closing, remember that to come to God we must be broken. That is the first step to surrender, yet it is in our brokenness that the beauty is found. Today, I am beautifully broken in Christ Jesus and each time, with each memory that the enemy tries to invade my mind with; as I allow myself to be broken anew and surrender it to God; He gives me beauty for those ashes and restores me for His glory.
I ask you, is your pain, your sorrow, or your fear pushing you away from God rather than drawing you closer to Him? What counterfeit junk are you holding onto instead of Jesus? Uproot fear and anxiety from your mind today and surrender it to Jesus. He will restore your mind and begin a healing process in your heart ….
Let us pray ~
Lord God, help me die to the desires of this world, and my selfishness to hold onto anything and value it more important than You and Your will for my life, that I might have the life that You created for me in Christ Jesus. In His precious name I pray, Amen.
God is with us …. God bless you this day!